Woah!

Few minutes ago, I would have died from an electronic shock if I hadn't turned off the lights right away. After cooking all the desserts, I wanted to get relaxed but as I saw the lights gone, I couldn't just sit down and watch them. I went to safeway and bought 4 light bulbs.

I had to change light bulbs in high ceilings. I climbed up onto the sink and successfully I was able to replace them. And as soon as I turned on the light to check if they work well, the sparks suddenly flew out with a big popping sound! "Bang!"
I'm pretty shocked and afraid to go to kitchen again. The lights are already gone even though the light bulbs are new. I have no idea alone in this place. (sighs).

Tastes good!

I've been cooking for 3 hours and am still stuck in the kitchen, waiting for the timer to ring.
I didn't want to cook and stay home today, but some veggies and fruits started to be rotten, yuck! :(
So, I found some recipes from my old high school cooking notebooks.
I finished baking chocolate truffles and red velvet cake and now I'm cooling them.
Banana puris, a pineapple stew covered with chopped peanuts, and chocolate blueberry streusel scones haven't done yet. I just peeled a bunch of bananas and a pineapple and got exhausted. (sighs).
I'd like to upload all the cooking photos with recipes on the blog, but I'm too lazy to do that. (blushes)
Ugh, my stomach is growling! Can't stop tasting the cookie dough even though it's still not baked in the oven.

No matter what.

I come here (the public library) everyday, take a seat, and do blogging. Now, it's already closed so I moved to a little cafe next to the library and am drinking a cup of coffee. It's my fifth cup today, gettig bitter. :(

I have nothing to do here but I need to kill time alone. The remedy that I could think of was listening to music and writing a post on my blog. very simple. Since last week, I've started to realign all the useless stuffs from my brain so I can be relaxed from the stressed life. So,...here we go.

The phrases I can imagine in my brain are, hmm...

I don't need your sympathy. Do not think I'm pathetic.

I need to do my laundry and write letters to my friends.

Where would I be on Christmas this year? Would it be snowing?

Where are all the people walking on the street going to?

I'm drawing a blank.

The truth that I still think of you but have to re-start another love to forget you infuriates myself.

Good girl gone bad.

I sometimes need to let people walk away because I love them but if they're not destined here, they need find someone else they could love.

I'm lost and not found yet.

The love like you gave to me had never been broken as it was a little piece of you heart.

I'm afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside unless you knock on the door.

It's dark outside but don't want to move and walk to the bus stop.

Can my love sometimes be the sweetest as the chocolate caramel I'm chewing and the rhythm I'm listening to? Can you smile at me softly so my mind would be melted like the frostie on a cupcake?

Can I lean on your shoulder because you see the heavy burden I've gotten here?

Milk & Chewy chocolate chip cookies.

Hate that I need to leave here.

There are so many things I want to do with you. Kissing in public. Screaming your name so loud. Making snowmen and drinking hot chocolate at a cozy warm cafe.

Have you disappeared away because I walk on the street everyday so maybe I can find you by chance?

Agh, getting stressed much more! (sighs) It's not a good remedy to be recommended.

Still loving you like I loved you

Don't ever forget me

Love & Hate

I'm ready to say this to you. I'm still forgetting you today. You and I are separated after two years together. Two years that to me didn't mean too much.

I would explain that my feelings had simply gone away. Yes, that was true. I have no more feelings now, and I'd never had before even when I was with you.

I felt I used your mind. You were a boy who was there to make me feel loved. You were smart, you truly cared about me and you were always waiting for me. For me, you were too enough.

I still remember the days we had pep rallies, homecoming games, parties and especially gym classes. When we played baseball, even though you were my enemy and you caught the ball I batted, you waited for me to run to the first base so I could get the point. After school, I used to go to your house everyday.

I enjoyed being with you. I liked the way you pleased me with jokes and games but I didn't really love you. So I started asking to myself if I really was yours and eventually I realized that I had a perfect guy next to me but I couldn't be satisfied with yourself. I wanted a ...spark! like I'd never experienced before so I could be surprised all the time.

A week ago, you went back to your place and you made me think of a lot things again. I again asked to myself if I needed to chase you but, there was nothing I could do except I sat in my bed and cried for a few days.

I can't trust myself because... I don't even know who I really love. And the other day, you said you would be with me forever if I trusted you but, the only thing I felt was 'guiltiness'. I was like, do I deserve to get loved from people even though I don't love myself? Do I deserve better than this?

Tell me what you're thinking of what I'm feeling. and I'll give you a call after I find out my phone or get a new one....I don't know when it would be thou (sighs).

I Feel Good

Wanting to pleasure you tonight. =)

Be Patient!

Last night, I had to do something really bad. I yelled at my best friend, Robert...Rooobbbbb! I was like, "Hey, you know what, you think I am the worst but, I could be worse than this! So, you better not treat me like that." And then only one thing had changed after few minute; he didn't give me a ride. dah!

As he knows that I always yell at him these days, he doesn't seem to care about my emotions changing every seconds. He's always telling me like, "You need to calm down a little bit. You're too high, too sensitive, and too insane...You used to be a very charming lady but now, you are scary...pffftt like 'a sweet vanilla cupcake covered with hot pepper paste'! lol"

WTF! I don't know why men sometimes do not realize how stupid they are makes women get so angry. It's like yelling at men is useless because they don't even seem to know why they have to apologize to women even when they're saying that they're sorry.

There are some reasons women yell at men. (cited from a friend who has been a wife)

1. Things are not getting done in the home that have been asked to be done a million times

2. Women work all day and come home to - "What's for dinner?" Can't you cook yourself?

3. The dog is out of food would you go get some? Don't you know where the f**king store is?
4. They want sex but don't want to spend any time with their husbands.

5. Husbands never let wives know where they are.
6. Holidays are perfect with their family and never with your own.
7. Husbands can't manage money and when they do get some, it is all spent on themselves and never a thought about others, especially their wives!

8. Husbands have dirt bag friends that hit on their wives and do nothing about it.
9. Husbands never introduce wives to people. How rude. Are you ashamed of us?
10. Husbands can't admit to their friends what they have done to piss off their women.

I 100% agree with you, Mrs. WantingPrivacy. :B

Men are the only animals that I would never understand until my dying day!

No Words To Say

Still...

I'm Yours.

Oh my gosh! I've seen this video more than a hundred times. I like the way he sings...I believe he's much better than any other famous singers in US. I'm wholly addicted!

I love you and your voice, Dan Talevski! <3